Sometimes we still feel angry after forgiving and the enemy will try to tell us we have failed and have not forgiven. But when we forgive, it doesn’t mean we change the facts and erase the hurtful past but rather our hurt for the person is healed. We can be angry and not hate. It happens to people who divorce who finally get to the place they can wish their ex well in their marriage. Smedes says that anger minus malice gives hope. If we choose to hang on to our malice than it keeps our pain alive. He gives suggestions that help us drain the poison of malice from our hearts, like being specific about it and even express it to God and maybe to someone else who can help us get rid of it. We can, of course, give the person over to the Lord and let God handle him. If they need rescuing from their own wicked ways, let God do the teaching. We can also pray for the peace of the person and let our anger do a work of reforming.
It helps to remember that we that we can’t erase the past, we can only heal the pain it has left behind! And in the forgiving, we are focused on what they did, not on who they are. We may also forgive in bits and pieces and it must be done freely. We can’t force someone to forgive as it may actually make it worse. Like Smedes said, that to set anyone free, forgiving must be freely given as an act of free love. We don’t know how they will respond and it must all be left in God’s hands. But when we feel unconditionally forgiven, we will know we are totally loved and affirmed and received. Nothing can separate us from Him who is love!
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