One of the continual struggles for us men is the sense that we don’t measure up spiritually. We get down on ourselves and impatient in our desire to change for the better. It is difficult to accept that we are deeply flawed. We simply will not change as fast as we would like. God has a different time table then we seem to have. The most important thing is our intention to want to change and be more Christ like. Remember that it is God who does the changing from the inside out. Much of what is going on in our hearts we will not be aware of. As a matter of fact, God will protect us from ourselves so we do not despair of our darkness. Our job is to keep our eyes on Jesus, allowing him access to more and more of our soul.
Here is an ensightful word regarding our struggle from one of the desert Fathers. I like this quote because it helps me to accept my unworthiness, while still desiring to grow in Christ: “Our Lord wants you to become mature, and maturity needs these periods of obscurity, of disillusionment and boredom. Maturity comes when we have at last realized that we must love our Lord simply and freely in spite of our horrible unworthiness and of the unworthiness of nearly everything around us. Then a new and lasting Incarnation of our Lord takes place in our souls as it were. He begins to live a new life within us in the very midst of the misery of the world. That is why the greatest saints have always shown the perfect combination of nearness to our Lord on the one hand, and a deep sense of their own unworthiness and weakness on the other.”
What is most encouraging to me from this quote is the realization that it is Christ living in me that does the work of transformation. My part is that of yielding to the Lord. This is how Paul put it in Galatians 2:20 from the Message. “My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinions, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ live in me. The life you see me living is not ‘mine,’ but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that.” By faith I trust that God is getting the job done in my heart, even in spite of my feelings of unworthiness. So men, let us keep our eyes on Jesus and let him do the work of bring about change. Our task is that of “letting go.”