Here is a quote from my favorite feminist, Camila Paglia, “….male identity is very tentative and sensitive – but feminist rhetoric doesn’t allow for it. This is why women are having so much trouble dealing with men in the feminist era. They don’t understand men, and they demonize men. They accord to men far more power than men actually have in sex. Women control the sexual world in ways that most feminists simply don’t understand.”
Camila is right in her observations. Having been happily married for 52 years to the same woman, I have grown in my understanding of the feminine. Nothing keeps me more humble then my soulmate relationship with WOMAN. Relating to my wife and the feminine will always be a challenge. Remember Paul said the two being one flesh is “a profound mystery.” I feel sorrow for the rhetoric expressed by the new generation of feminists. They disavow any sense of mystery when it comes to the masculine in relation to the feminine.
The most fruitful place to grow in the understanding of WOMAN is in committed, faithful marriage. I wonder how many angry feminists, who espouse “toxic masculinity” have a loving, committed marriage to a MAN. Since the beginning man and woman were meant to be one flesh, not to be split apart. Jesus warned us, “Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together’ (Matt. 19:3).
I agree – male identity is very tentative and sensitive. Men have frail egos. Genesis 2:20 tells us, “But for Adam no suitable helper was found” (Gen 2:20). Adam was not complete alone. He needed someone to stand with him, being his supporter and bringing encouragement in his dominion of the garden. I would never had made it through my years as a pastor without my wife being my greatest support. Every man needs a ” help mate.” It is lonely without one.
Feminist rhetoric lacks understanding of the masculine. This is due to the fall. After the fall Genesis tells us, “At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves” (Gen 2:7). Male and female fig leaves prevent us from truly knowing one another.
Because of the fig leaf, men are being demonized. God made humans in his own image. “In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them” (Gen 1:27). Both are equal before God. You can’t demonize the image of God found in the masculine, without destroying the relationship. After God created Eve out of the rib of Adam we read, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother, and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh” (Gen 2:24). Today we are witnessing a war between the sexes.
Yes, women have power in sexual relationships. The first part of Proverbs warns against the seductive power of a wayward women. “”So she seduced him with her pretty speech and enticed him with her flattery. He followed her at once, like a ox going to the slaughter” ( Prov 7:21-22). Pornography can destroy a marriage, when a man fantasies with a wayward woman.
I thank God for my relationship with my “Proverbs 31 wife.” “Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies” (Prov. 31:10). Judy is God’s greatest gift to me. “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband” (Prov 12:4). My wife is a crown in my life, not burden.. She is my “graceful dove.” “She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love” (Pro 5:19). I call Judy “my bride.”