Month: August 2021 (Page 3 of 3)

As we were in prayer at the end of one of our “Band of Brothers” meetings, I pictured myself falling off a pedestal.  I knew immediately what it meant: I had put myself on a spiritual pedestal as the facilitator of our group.  I was seeing myself as more spiritual than others. 

Beyond this, I was taking pride in my spiritual maturity, thinking I was a fairly transparent guy. But even in my vulnerability, I was putting my best spiritual face forward, and was fearful of what the men really thought of me. I have been struggling mightily in writing this blog, because I don’t want to admit my spiritual pride.  Paul tell us in Galatians, “Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.  If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself.  You are not that important. Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else.  For we are each responsible for our own conduct” (Gal. 6:2-5 NLT).    

It is not easy for me to expose my “dirty laundry.”  My false self, with all its ego needs, dies a slow death.  I continue to struggle with appearance rather than face the realities of my own heart. It is hard to admit that at 80 years of age, I still pose and pretend.  It seems the Lord is using a group of men as an opportunity to come face to face with spiritual pride.  Lord, help me to be a more honest man.

Paul’s words in I Cor. 3:18-20 are convicting to me:  “Let no one deceive himself.  If anyone among you thinks that he is wise is in this age, let him become a fool [discarding his worldly pretensions and acknowledging his lack of wisdom], so that he may be come [truly] wise.  For the wisdom of this world is foolishness (absurdity, stupidity) before God: for it is written [in Scripture], [He is] the one who catches the wise and clever in their craftiness” (Amplified).  I have been deceiving myself, thinking I am wise when I should be willing to be a fool.

I confess that I have been caught in the “craftiness” of thinking myself to be wise. I am learning to deconstruct this hidden tendency. I need to heed Jesus words: “For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted” (Luke 14:11). The following prayer is helping:

Lord, help me be more willing to become a fool for Christ, because I know you love me.  I don’t have to prove my worth or be concerned about my reputation. Because I still struggle with the need for approval from other men, help me remember that my affirmation needs to continually come from you.  

I need much grace and mercy not to get caught up in comparison.  It is awful trap I want to avoid.  Give me a genuine love to walk in the shoes of other men.  I also need to dismiss any thought of how far I have progressed on my spiritual journey.  Help me remember that the journey is not a matter of achievement, but rather of being.  

Open my eyes to see false humility – which is really rooted in self-pity and self-hatred. Help me forget about appearances, and to be as genuinely honest and open about my journey with you. Guide me in remembering that your power is made perfect in my weakness (II Cor 12:9). 

I recently read an essay entitled “The Cross and the Machine” by Paul Kingsnorth, a novelist, essayist, and poet from Ireland.  He tells of his coming to Christ after living as an atheist in modern England.  He found that freedom meant “to give up your will and follow God’s. To deny yourself. To let it come. I am terrible at this, but at least now I understand the path.”

Kingsnorth’s final paragraph expresses well the choice before all who live in modern cultures devoid of the sacred story.  “In the kingdom of Man, the seas are ribboned with plastic, the forests are burning, the cities bulge with billionaires and tented camps, and still, we kneel before the idol of the great god Economy as it grows and grows like a cancer cell.  And what if this ancient faith is not an obstacle after all, but a way through?  As we see the consequences of eating the forbidden fruit, of choosing power over humility, separation over communion, the stakes become clearer each day. Surrender or rebellion; sacrifice or conquest; death of the self or triumph of the will; the cross or the machine.  We have always been offered the same choice. The gate is strait and the way is narrow and maybe we will always fail to walk it.  But is there any other road that leads home?” 

I am reminded of the words from the prophet Jeremiah, “Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.  But you said, ‘We will not walk in it.'” (Jer. 6:16).  Our cultural narrative, if not critically discerned, can become like a slow-growing spiritual cancer, affecting our walk with God.   Kingsnorth maintains that the ancient faith (Christianity) should not be seen as an obstacle, “but [rather] a way through.” Yes, you can navigate through a dry and thirsty land with Jesus.  It will not be easy but will save your very soul from the machine of modern life.  

We have a choice. Jesus says to us, “Enter through the narrow gate, because the gate is wide and the way is spacious that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it.  How narrow is the gate and difficult the way that leads to life, and there are few who find it” (Matt. 7:13-14 NET).  Kingsnorth wonders, “…Is there any other road that leads home?”  Men, Jesus is the way back.  I love the quote from Meister Eckhart, “God is at home.  It is we who have gone out for a walk.” 

Jesus wants us to know that in choosing him we will regain our soul and find our true self.  “Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead.  You’re not in the driver’s seat; I am.  Don’t run from suffering, embrace it.  Follow me and I’ll show you how.  Self-help is no help at all.  Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self.  What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself?  What could you ever trade your soul for? (Matt. 16:24-26 – Message). Men, don’t let yourself be lost in the modern machine. 

We have to ask ourselves, “What will it be?” Surrender or rebellion; sacrifice or conquest… the cross or the machine?  Take 3-5 minutes to be silent before the Lord.  Ask him to reveal an area in your life that is too little Cross and too much Machine… and what to do about that…