Any man who is a sports fan knows all about “the big Dance.” That is the name that has evolved to describe “March Madness.” This is the time of year when 64 division I basketball teams are invited into a tournament that will eventually crown a winner. I thoroughly enjoy March madness. I get into the competition, the passion of the young players and the emotions of winning and losing. The players and their coaches give all they have for this one moment. There is a lot to learn from the experience of these young men about the game of life. But in this blog I want to briefly mention three other dances
The first is “the Great Dance.” C.S. Lewis described our being invited into the life of the Trinity as being part of the Great Dance, that has been going on from all eternity. Some years ago, when I finally realized that I was invited to participate in the life of the Trinity, the great dance was a helpful visual for men. The essence of the Trinity is a loving community of three persons. The love found within the triune God is one that reaches out to include. We are invited into this dance because God created us in his image, so that we might share the life that emanates from life within the Trinity. Picture yourself in the middle of a circle with three persons dancing with you and around you. My favorite verse describing these reality is John 17:26, “I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have fro me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.” The image of the great dance has made the life of the Trinity become very real to me. I can participate and belong within, because the Father send Jesus, to bring me home. Home is life within the Trinity. Wow!
The second dance is “the sacred dance.” I got this idea from Richard Rohr. He compares men who are part of “the sacred dance” and to those who are still in a “the survival dance.” What a contrast between “sacred” and “survival.” There is a huge difference in lifestyle, motivation and focus. The guy in the survival dance is all about himself. He is caught in his small, cramped, and suffocating egocentric world. He has a fortress mentality, trying to survive by his own wits. He might include God, but only because God can help with his “personal salvation project”. But the man who has surrendered to Jesus, is allowing him to take the initiative in the dance. This man has found a new and remarkable freedom to be himself. He is allowing Jesus to be the leading partner in the dance. There is an inner peace and rest that comes only from God. Paul expressed it well when he said, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me” (Gal 2:20). Men, God has a wonderful “sacred dance” for you. You will discover it as you are willing to be lead on the dance floor of your life.
Briefly, one more dance. This is “the Intimate Dance” that you have with your wife. With groups of men, we have talked about this often. This dance can be awkward and sometimes even embarrassing for us men. But it is a dance that we must learn and take the lead in performing. This involves our being vigilant in the non-verbal communication with our wives. When any small issues gets between you and your “bride”, a small stone is placed between you and her. If you neglect to pick up on the non-verbal interaction, soon you will begin to build a wall. You don’t want that to happen. In my opinion, it is our place as men, to remove the stone by verbalizing the tension that has developed. Of course, this plays a very important part in your dance, when it comes to the physical. If we are not sensitive to the non-verbal stuff going on, the physical will be difficult from your wife to enter into with all her heart. So men, be vigilant in your dance of intimacy. We can be real jerks if we are not alert and willing to enter intimate, verbal sharing. You and your wife have your own unique intimate dance. It’s up to the husband to take the lead in learning how he can dance with him “bride.”