Back in 2015, Judy and I attended a memorial service for “Skee” (Lloyd) Green.  Skee had been married to Judy’s cousin, Nancy.  In his early 70’s, he had gotten involved with the church I was pastoring in Remer, MN … even though he had not been active in a faith community up to that point.  Skee started attending every Sunday and came to know the Lord.  It was a joy to watch him grow in his relationship with Jesus.  He was soft-spoken but sincere, so I know that when he talked about his growing faith, it was real.  He was one of my biggest encouragements.

Skee was a fix-it guy.  People would bring him broken parts from mechanical devices of every sort. His specialty was welding and metalforming, although people thought he could fix almost anything.  But Skee would say the one thing he couldn’t fix was “a broken heart.”  When I heard that, I knew I had to write about the broken hearts of men.  A significant part of my journey has been healing my own broken heart – and because I watched my own father die of a broken heart, I feel called to be involved in the healing of men’s hearts, .

Men tend to be fixers. But when it comes to matters of the heart, we cannot find a fix.  Why?  Jeremiah helps us understand: “The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful, a puzzle that no one can figure out … [But God] gets to the heart of the human.  I get to the root of things.  I treat them as they really are, and not as they pretend to be” (Jer. 17:9-10 – Message).  Our failings and shortcomings separate us from God, others, and ourselves. This brings real pain.  We cannot mend the fragmentation. We pretend to be competent, while living with a broken heart.  We do a lot of pretending to dull the pain.

Only God can fix or heal a broken heart.  The Psalmist tells us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18).  “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Ps. 147:3). What God looks for is the surrender (or the sacrifice) of a broken heart. “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise” (Ps. 51:17).  We sacrifice by giving God all the pieces of our broken hearts, trusting him to put them all back together.

Of course, before God can fix a broken heart, we need to first see the problem.  It’s painful, but we have to face reality.  The Psalmist talks of “groaning all day long.”  But then he could say, “I acknowledged my sin to you, and did not cover up my iniquity.  I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord’ – and you forgave the guilt of my sin” (Ps. 32:5).  He depended on God’s mercy: “Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord; O Lord, hear my voice.  Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy” (Ps. 130:1-2).

Open your heart to the Lord.  Like the Psalmist, be honest: “… I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me” (Ps. 51:3).   He was open as well about his pain: “… My spirit grows faint within me; my heart within me is dismayed” (Ps. 143:4).  I have found the Jesus Prayer (based on Mark 10:47) helpful as I walk with the Lord in my own process toward healing and wholeness: “Jesus, Son of God, be merciful to me a sinner.”  It is a daily prayer on my own journey of continual transformation (II Cor. 3:17-18; John 3:29-30).