Sexual assaults on college campuses has been in the news lately.  One out of five female students experience rape or sexual assault while they are in college.  Camille Paglia, writing in Time magazine puts it very bluntly, “young women today do not understand the fragility of civilization and the constant nearness of savage nature.”  She points out that the real problem, “resides in human nature,……. as eternally torn by a war between the forces of darkness and light.”  She chides young women for assuming, “that bared flesh and sexy clothes are just a fashion statement containing no messages that might be misread or twisted by a psychotic. They do not understand the fragility of civilization and the constant nearness of savage nature.”

Wow!  In my opinion, Ms. Paglia is nailing the issue of young male sexuality accurately.  I used to warn confirmation girls (12-14) to be on the look out for the “wolf” in young men.  Simply put, the sexual drive in a young man, left unchecked can violate a girl.  Male sexual energy like water needs to be channeled.  This is true no matter what our age  In Prov 5:15-18  we read,  “Drink water from your own cistern, running water from our own well.  Should your spring overflow in the streets, your stream of water in the public squares?  Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers.  May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.”

The references to cistern, running water, spring, and streams of water refer to the relationship of men to their wives.   Drinking from your own cistern encourages men to be faithful in their marriage and to enjoy sexual relationships with their  wives.  Rather than expending sexual energy on other  women, a men should cultivate a healthy sexual relationship with their wives.  Wells and cisterns were privately owned and of great value.  The sexual drive given to men is meant to be satisfied within private confines of marriage.  Here we find the joys of sexuality.   Until that time, young men need the grace of God to suffer the “in-between” time till marriage.  As a note in the NLT puts it, “In contrast to much of what we read, see, and hear today, this passage urges couples to look to each other for lifelong satisfaction and companionship.”

So here are a few “take-aways” for men from this passage.  First, celebrate the fact that you have sexual passions.  Come to peace regarding your passions; they are normal.  It is how you channel your passions that matters.   Secondly, we read in Prov 5: “Rejoice in the wife of your youth.”  Treasure your wife as the greatest gift God has given you, other than salvation.  Thirdly, follow the example of Job.  “I have made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman.” (Job 31:1)  The Message puts it more bluntly, “never to undress a girl with my eyes.”  Men, the struggle with our fantasy life will be a continual battle.  As one man said, “It doesn’t take much for the horse to get out of the barn.”  One more take away.  Be vigilant in your behavior around other women.  Don’t be sending out signals or looking. You can look at the menu, but don’t go ordering  Your wife is watching.  Make her secure in knowing that you are a “one woman man.”