Did you hear that the new list of approved activities for the boy scouts makes clear that water gun fights are not allowed because “pointing a firearm” at someone – even a “simulated” firearm is not “kind.” The BSA shooting manual clarifies, “For water balloons, use small, biodegradable balloons and fill them no larger then a ping pong ball […. ] water guns and rubber guns must only be used to shoot at targets, and eye protection must be worn”.   I confess that I am guilty of misbehaving as a grandfather, since I have recently had both water gun fights and water balloon fights with two of my grand sons.  By the way, we had great fun in our fights.

This new policy of the BSA is example of the feminizing of the male culture. Christina Goff-Sommers in her book (2001), “The War against Boys,” argues that our public schools are set up to obliterate all that is masculine and establish femininity as the norm. Boys are a “frowned-upon presence” in schools that have forgotten a simple truth: “that the energy, competitiveness, and corporal daring of normal, decent males is responsible for much of what is right in the world.” Yes, boys need guidance in their activism, but they need to be allowed to be boys.  But today is not a good day to be a boy in America.  Sommers observes  that boys are “routinely regarded as protosexists, potential harassers and perpetrators of gender inequity, boys live under a cloud of censure.”  Young boys are being taught to disrespect masculinity and suppress it in themselves.

I for one, grieve over what is happening. I agree that boys need to be taught the more feminine traits of kindness, sensitivity, gentleness and nurture, but they also need to learn to express genuine male instincts in a constructive manner so that they may mature to be both sensitive and strong in their god given male energy.  This is a task primarily for fathers, grandfathers, and other male models.  I. personally have traveled down a long, winding road in a sincere attempt to integrate my masculine soul, with the complementary balance of the feminine.   I am still a “broken” man seeking further healing for my soul in a culture that offers little support.  I have committed the last  part of my journey here below to help younger men find, nurture and live out of their true masculine soul.

As I write these words, I weep, knowing the struggles some of the readers of this blog are facing in our culture. Believe me when I tell you I know the struggle.  I had an absent father and a dominating mother as my role models growing up.  I had very little Christian nurture as a teenager. As a feeling, intuitive boy, I always felt like a square peg that could never fit into the masculine round hole.  I have battled with deep insecurities, doubts, failures and disappointments.  Today as I look back at how God has integrated my masculine soul, I am full of praise and thanksgiving for his grace and mercy to me.

My advise for nurturing your male soul:  First, reject the false narrative of our culture regarding maleness, and embrace your uniqueness masculinity as a man created in the image of God. Secondly, study, reflect on, and incorporate the character of Jesus as your model for maleness. Thirdly, allow Scripture to form your worldview. I must warn you again, the gender wars will intensify. Fourthly, open your soul to receive healing for your wounds, especially father wounds. Fifthly, find and relate to men of godly character. Breathe in their life.  And meet regularly with a male spiritual mentor.